


The Lives of Neville Longbottom

by kunnskat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Torture, Non-Canonical Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 00:12:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 8,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9265235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunnskat/pseuds/kunnskat
Summary: It is said that every choice creates a new alternate universe and they all have one slight, or major, difference, such as perhaps Neville getting to grow up with his parents still sane.





	1. The First Life

**Author's Note:**

> All of these drabbles are ones I have already posted on my tumblr roleplay blog for Neville.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His parents love him, they'll protect him from anything. Until they don't.

“Mum, dad,” it’s a whisper in the wind, a shape slowly forming in front of his parents. Not fully, but just enough to show who it is. Neville stands there, see-through, and looking up at them with wide eyes, a scared expression on his face like he’s not aware that he’s no longer where he had been. All he seems to notice is that they’re finally there to save him, not noticing that it’s too late. 

It doesn’t hurt anymore, but he doesn’t notice that underneath the relief at being saved. He doesn’t notice that he’s home in their living room and that they’re not alone and that he can’t have gotten here so quickly when he was stuck with evil, cruel people that were hurting him. 

He doesn’t notice that he’s already dead until his mum bursts into sobs and his dad slumps down onto his knees, a trembling hand reaching for him but passing through him.


	2. The Second Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world where James Potter takes Neville in and raises him alongside Harry.

Neville shuffles into the house and drops into the couch, closing his eyes as he leans forward to hide his face. He’s tired. He just feels tired. Everything feels sluggish, like he’s dragging too much baggage with him and just hasn’t noticed yet, even though he knows he’s not dragging anything heavy with him. 

It doesn’t matter, though, he’ll get better with time. Time always fixes things. He just wants dad to come home, though. He wants dad to hug him and tell him that everything is going to be just fine. He wants dad to be there with him. 

He gets his wish when he hears the door open, the familiar sound of footsteps coming towards the living room, and looks up in time to catch sight of his dad freezing as he spots him, a strange amount of emotions circling through his face. Shock, confusion, horror, fear… And despair. 

He doesn’t understand why and starts forward, worried. What happened that has made his dad act like this?

Reaching forward to put a hand on his shoulder, he falters as he watches it go right through him.


	3. The Third Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Neville is taken by Bellatrix Lestrange when his parents are tortured into insanity and is locked up in a freezing cell along with others, one of which is the man sharing his cell; Mr. Lovegood.

“I’m scared,” Neville whispers, curled up as much as he can to not be seen, but given everything, it’s pretty much useless, everyone no doubt knows he’s there and how to get at him. It’s a big part of why he’s okay with admitting to his weakness. 

That and he doesn’t think the only person that can reasonably hear him in here will mock him for it. Neville half thinks he’s afraid, too. He looks to be. 

He suddenly wonders if maybe it wouldn’t be safer closer to him, what if they come back? 

He crawls close to the man, trying to poke him into talking, but he’s so cold he can’t feel how hard he’s doing it so he stops. He doesn’t want to hurt him, he just wants to feel like there’s even a little normality left in his life. He thinks the man might’ve appreciated it if he got to learn what that feels like in a situation like this. 

He’s getting colder. 

Neville falls asleep for a little while, but wakes up soon after and is relieved to find that he’s no longer cold, as he sits up. 

“Mister?” The little boy whispers, looking at the man he’s sharing his cell with. “Mister, it’s gotten warm.” But the man is still shivering. How strange. 

He doesn’t get it until he looks down and finds himself looking at himself still sleeping.


	4. The Fourth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've got to keep the other students safe, but it's not so easy even with the DA at their backs.

"Stop pretending to be okay!"

“Look, Ginny, it doesn’t matter if I’m okay or not! We haven’t got time to worry about that! We need to get those kids out of here,” he’s practically hissing at her, trying to get her to stop shouting at least. They can’t afford for everyone to start doubting their leadership, not when they’ve gotten so far and survived so much. 

So what if he’s been a little tortured, so what if his hands are shaking and every few minutes he’ll remember the laughter of the Carrows as they discuss his reactions and their resemblance to how they’d imagined his parents reacting. So what if he’s not okay? 

He’s got to pretend at least, and he’d be grateful if she’d pretend with him, “it can wait until we’ve won the war.”


	5. The Fifth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war is over but they've still got a lot left to do to make everything alright again. Thing is, Neville doesn't think he'll ever be alright again.

“STOP PRETENDING TO BE OK!”

Neville flinches back from the shout, hands clenching into fists as he looks down at his feet, “I– I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine! There’s– there’s nothing wrong, you don’t need to worry.” 

He hadn’t expected Hermione of all people to be so insistent. He might have thought she’d notice, but he’d also thought she’d be too busy with practically anything else, there’s always something that has to be done and she’s usually trying to be on top of everything as well as she can. 

He’d hoped not to be noticed though, figured the only ones that cared would be too busy, but he’d apparently gotten it all wrong as usual. 

“I’ve– I’ve got to go, got somewhere to be,” he attempts to not sound like he’s lying to her as he turns around to flee the room, find somewhere to calm down and hide at the same time.


	6. The Sixth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working as an Auror is difficult, but the worst part is when his friends insist on hovering.

"Stop pretending to be okay!"

“Ka– Katie?” Confusion coloring his words, he blinks at her, hand on wall to keep himself steady. He’d not expected her to be at this intervention staged for him, but then again, he hadn’t expected this to happen at all, either. 

“I’m– I’m fine,” Neville insists, frowning first at her and then the others, frustrated at their need to butt in when there’s obviously nothing wrong. Merlin, why can’t they just let him live his life? 

“Why’re you all even here, how’d you know when I’d get back? I’m going to have words with the boss if he’s going to tell people about my missions, or should I be expecting the escaped Death Eaters the next time I come home?” Grumbling more to himself, he waves his wand at the general direction of his bathroom, summoning his first aid kit.


	7. The Seventh Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't want to be a werewolf, but he also doesn't see any other way out if he wants to live.

“Shh,” a breath on his ear, a hand over his throat and an arm wrapped around his waist keeps Neville still and silent, eyes only barely picking out the shapes in the darkness in front of them, ears barely hearing shouting over the sound of someone so incredibly close breathing. 

He can feel it, too, the man behind him. His chest moving against Neville’s back. It’s incredibly distracting and Neville, in a moment of weakness, finds himself thankful for that, that he isn’t constantly thinking about the hand at his throat, capable of squeezing the life out of him at a single moments notice. 

Squeezing might not be the right word. Ripping it out, maybe? He’s got claws of a sort, Neville saw them before and can feel them now, and if he does spare a moment to think of it, he tries not to think of the dirt he’d seen under them or the way it smells like dried blood rather than dirt. 

The full moon isn’t up yet, but it’ll come, and Neville half hopes someone will come upon them before then. He doesn’t want to die just yet. 

Or be turned into a werewolf. 

Greyback is pretty famous for it, but Neville isn’t that young, he doesn’t think he’ll be wanted as one of his wolves, he’s gotten too stubborn for that, he’d never obey him. Greyback’d have to break him before that happens and Neville would rather die than let him.


	8. The Eight Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They're afraid of you," Neville dares to tell the man, and the man tells him back, "as they should be," and between the lines of the rest of what he says, Neville thinks he's hearing him tell him to leave for a safer place.

Seventh year is supposed to be one of nerves and excitement, of preparing to go out there into the big world, to start searching for work or an apprenticeship. It’s not supposed to be day to night to day of constant fear, constantly looking over your shoulder and praying that the new teachers aren’t there to see you. 

Or in Neville’s case, praying they are there to see you, that they’re following you to catch you and torture you, that they’ll be too busy with you to notice any of the others sneaking around. Neville prays he is the best distraction he can be, as he does every time he leaves the safest room of the castle these days. 

The requirement room is their safe haven now, the one place the Carrows can’t reach them, and if he had his way, none of the other students would be leaving that room until it’s safe. 

Those two Death Eaters aren’t all they fear, though. They’ve got a new Headmaster and he’s perhaps even more dangerous than them. Severus Snape is someone who lasted years under Dumbledore yet never lost his trust, that makes him the most dangerous. 

But sometimes Neville wonders just who he’s dangerous to. After all, he lasted years under Dumbledore. Who is to say Dumbledore was truly wrong to trust him? And moments like these, when he doesn’t punish Neville for speaking out but instead offers what sounds a lot like advice, well, they certainly don’t help marking him as evil. 

Neville won’t leave, though, he can’t. He’s one of the leaders of the current DA, someone’s got to keep them all safe and, if the new Headmaster really is on their side, he can’t do it alone.


	9. The Ninth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've got their ways of contacting the Order, it's just that some are safer than others.

A touch on his shoulder breaks Neville out of his thoughts and warmth nears him. He smiles as he looks up, knowing exactly why he’d been disturbed. Reaching a hand out even as the girl that had let him know makes her way back to her friends, Neville gently places a hand on the glowing creature in front of him, the patronus with the information of how things are going outside. One of several ways they’ve chosen to keep touch with the outside world. 

It will no doubt also be the way they organize the escape for the youngest and those incapable of fighting when the day comes, for the day will come, of the final battle. Harry, Ron and Hermione will return and with them that battle will come. They all know it. 

After all, if Harry Potter were to have died, it would have been announced everywhere. Written and spoken, drawn and shouted. No one could not have known. 

Fleur’s voice echoes with the news – there isn’t much, nothing they hadn’t already known – even after the patronus is done relaying her message. He’ll have to respond within the day or they will assume the worst, he’d have liked to wait for Ginny to return, but there’s no time if the patronus is to reach back within time. 

He softly speaks “expecto patronum” while he thinks of the feeling he’d gotten when his gran had smiled at him in pride after the trip to the Ministry, it still works very well for the charm. 

“I need you to go to Fleur again,” he tells it, placing a hand on its head. “Tell her there’s nothing new, but we’ve got Ginny looking for a way to get the sword. We’re going to try to take it near Christmas. The Carrows have gotten bolder, their punishments stricter. We’ve needed to be more careful to not draw their attention, but they’re cracking down on the younger years. We’re trying to figure out what to do about them that won’t draw him here, so if anyone’s got any ideas, we welcome them.”

He nods at the patronus, sending it flying out of here and to it’s intended recipient.


	10. The Tenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's his mum but she's also... Not.

“Doesn’t my opinion matter?”

“Of course it does, your opinion will always matter, mum, but,” he chews on his words for a few second, trying to figure out the best way to say this. It’s difficult because she’s his mum, she’s the woman who gave birth to him, gave him the life he’s living, but at the same time. At the same time she’s not. 

She’s not his mum who was there for his third birthday when he cried half the day away, his gran in frustration sending him to his room, she’s not his mum who read bedtime stories to him and later taught him to read so he could read them for himself. 

She’s not his mum, but he can’t say that. 

“Some things I have to decide on my own, you know? I’m– I’m my own person.”

He’s Neville, not Alice and certainly not Frank. He’s Neville. 

It took him a while to learn that, too.


	11. The Eleventh Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna doesn't show fear very often, he's noticed. So when she does, he notices.

Neville knows suffering like a good old friend that frequently visits, knows fear like the plants he grows and knows shame like a childhood friend that was always there. He understands hiding how much it hurts to prevent others from worrying or thinking no one would notice anyway, understands having to be brave because that is how they expect you to be now that you’re all grown up and understands the feeling of failure because even that is impossible. 

So he sees the terror in her eyes and the pleading for help hidden in her actions, the need for someone to notice without noticing themselves that they need it. She’s hurting and so few of them seem capable of even seeing it, only the cheer and kindness visible any other time. 

“It’s okay to not be okay,” he doesn’t remember just who had once said that to him, it might’ve been Hermione or it might’ve been Dean, or even Harry– he doesn’t remember, but he’s sure any of them would have if needed, they’re all very kind people in that manner. It seems like she needs to hear it, though, really needs to, so he’s sure whoever it was won’t mind him passing the words of wisdom on. 

He moves to her side, just close enough that she can lean on him if she wants or needs to, but far enough that they don’t touch, that she won’t be startled and run away, and looks forward so she won’t fool him with smiles, like he knows she can if he’ll let her. 

“Someone once said that if you want to help someone heal, you have to heal first. I think they’re right,” it’s not word for word, but it fits this, doesn’t it? He’s… Worried about her. She’s his friend and he wants her to be okay.


	12. The Twelfth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the war, most of them return to Hogwarts for an extra year. And to help. Neville is there mostly for DADA. He doesn't know what Draco Malfoy is there for.

"Get BACK! Stay the hell away from me!”

There is something fundamentally wrong with this entire picture and Neville isn’t sure what to do about it other than to stay as still as possible as to not somehow make it worse, but also not sure if he should be listening and actually leaving him alone. 

It’s Malfoy, after all, he’d probably leave Neville or tease him if it was the other way around. But. Neville doesn’t like being mean and he also doesn’t like people hurting. 

“I– I won’t laugh,” maybe that’s what he’s worried about? Neville would never– Could never. “I just— are you– are you okay?”

Biting his lip, he tries to look as sincerely worried as he can, he doesn’t think he’d ever be forgiven if he does anything less, maybe it’d even get him worse off with the Slytherin. He doesn’t know, doesn’t dare to guess. It wouldn’t change anything if it gets worse anyway, though, he’d never forgive himself if he doesn’t try to help and something really bad happens from it. 

He wants to be the kind of person his parents would’ve been proud of, helpful is one quality he’s sure they’d want of him.


	13. The Thirteenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hesitancy is to Neville as bravery is to Harry.

Hesitancy is not an uncommon thing with him. It is learned after a long time of making mistakes and earning disappointment. Hesitancy is normal. It’s a part of who Neville is. There are few moments where he had not been hesitant, and going to sit on the chair and have that hat look through his head to tell him where he would get to belong had been one of those moments, running to his new house so quick he’d forgotten to take the hat off had been another of them. 

That was the only time when those sort of moments had been many with little time in between. He’d gone back to being constantly hesitant quickly after, when the laughter had ended and they’d all gotten used to him. 

Neville and hesitancy belong together like Harry Potter and bravery so clearly does. 

Of course that means he’s hesitant when offered to sit somewhere with someone.


	14. The Fourteenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a man attempting to feel his heartbeat and when Neville finally opens his eyes to look at him, a vague thought in his head says he knows this man. He just can't articulate it or anything.

He likes to think that his parents would be proud of him. 

They’d be proud and happy and kind and loving. His dad would smile at him and ruffle his hair and say good job, son, I’m proud of you. His mom would hug him and laugh and tell him that it doesn’t matter that he’s growing up, he’ll always be her little boy. 

He imagines it sometimes. Imagines them remembering who he is. Imagines growing up with them knowing, with them raising him and loving him. 

They’d loved him enough to stay alive through torture, gran says sometimes after a particularly bad day. Isn’t that good enough?

It never will be, he thinks, and she always looks at him like she knows exactly what he’s thinking. That usually makes him think he’s being selfish. She knew them better, she lost more than he did that day. 

Selfish and foolish Neville Longbottom. That’s him, the dunderhead and imbecile and not even half the man his father was. 

He likes to think he’d be proud. He also likes to think he’ll get better in classes like Potions or Transfiguration. And he likes to think – no, dream really – about working with his hands, with plants. Like Professor Sprout does. He likes to dream about growing plants for Potions masters, even if that’s Professor Snape. After Hogwarts he won’t have to see him, Neville could have a house elf deliver everything that is ordered. There are ways to avoid people if he wants to, he’s been dreaming about it for enough years to figure out how it would go. 

But dreaming won’t get him anywhere, gran says. He needs to do better, work harder, make them proud and stop being so ridiculously lost all the time. Lost in his dreams, lost in his head, lost in the corridors. 

He wants them all to be proud of him and he’s trying, he swears, but it’s not the easiest thing to do. He has accidents more often than not, and sometimes those accidents aren’t anything to laugh about. 

He thinks his Potions mishaps might be laughed about the most, since everyone knows about them the second it happens. Gossip at Hogwarts works quicker than at the Ministry. He’s seen it there too, he knows what he’s talking about. 

Neville doesn’t think they’ll laugh about this, though. 

Not when he hears screaming, feels a burning pain in his stomach that fades at the sound of footsteps in the background of the screaming, and oh, he thinks it sounds just like him, but Neville isn’t screaming– 

Something warms his chest, something large, it’s placed right above his heart and it feels nice. 

Neville thinks it would feel peaceful, if he wasn’t blinking away tears, a dark shape hovering above him, blinking into focus every few seconds. Professor Snape looks too upset for it to be peaceful. He looks like he’s telling him to quiet down but Neville isn’t screaming, really. 

He can’t hear anything over the screaming, though, so he’s not sure what he’s saying. 

The screaming should stop. Everything is fine. 

Why is there screaming? What’s going on?

He closes his eyes and finds it difficult to open them again, but is greeted by whiteness when he does. It looks familiar, like he’s been there before, but he doesn’t quite recognize it. 

He’s still warm. On his chest. 

Turning his head, he is greeted by a familiar face, but he doesn’t quite recognize the man by his side, either. He feels like he knows him, like the way his hand is on his chest, right above his heart, is familiar. Peaceful. 

He just can’t figure out why.


	15. The Fifteenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neville’s favorite tale is about Lily Potter, told to him by gran only once.

Neville has heard her name before he learned of her role in the temporary defeat of Lord Voldemort. He’d heard it before everyone started telling tales of how the great Harry Potter had defeated the dark lord while his parents couldn’t have. Tales that didn’t go quite the same as with other children, he learned later on. 

His gran had never hesitated to talk about the dead, to talk of the sacrifices made and remind him of how good the previous generation had been. The Potters. His parents. Lily Potter is a name mentioned several times as he grows up, along with James. He knows their names almost as well as he knows that of his parents. 

When he comes to Hogwarts and meets Harry the first thought isn’t that he’s famous, it’s that he’s heard stories about his parents and he knows that they’re gone. Not in the same way that his own are, but worse, because like gran says, he can still see his parents. Harry can’t. 

He thinks, though, that sometimes he’d want that. He’d want peace for his parents. 

Then he sits by his mum’s bed and she hands him a candy wrapper with what looks like it could be a smile and he’s so grateful that he can have that. 

One night, just before bed, he asks gran if he can go through their photo albums. It’s nearing Christmas and he wants to send Harry something and he thinks that maybe they’ll have something from their time fighting the war together. A peaceful moment in between the fighting. 

He doesn’t get the chance to send anything he finds, doesn’t want to communicate with Harry after they’d seen his parents in Mungo’s. He’s afraid of what response he might get. 

He did find something, though. A group of people smiling, Harry’s parents in there. Neville’s parents, too. Lily and James Potter are smiling, laughing really. If Harry should have to remember something of his parents, Neville wishes it could have been that. 

That, or Neville’s favorite tale about Lily Potter, told to him by gran only once. When the Potters had been visiting, before they’d gone into hiding. Just after they’d been born, he and Harry both. About how Lily had picked him up after he’d cried and promised to protect him, too, as a good godmother. That she’d said she’d always be there. 

One of the things his gran had remembered her saying, almost word for word, had been that even if he cannot hear her voice, she’ll always be by his side. 

Neville thinks she’s probably by Harry’s side now, always will be, but it’s a nice thought that maybe there’s someone watching out for him, too.


	16. The Sixteenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuck in a time not his own, Neville by accident makes a very good friend in need of his kindness. 'Crossover' with Fantastic Beasts.

It’s like a wild goose chase, except so much worse, because you know the goose exists, you’ve seen it, you know that the only reason you haven’t caught it yet is because your abilities are lacking. The hunt for information on a way to return Neville home, however, may not have an answer. There may not be any such way. He might never find a way back, and that thought does not leave him as he enters the worst place he could ever think to visit. 

The only time Neville had ever considered visiting Azkaban had been when he had been only thirteen years old, a child really, and it had never been for the sake of visiting someone and peacefully speak with them as if they had done no harm. No, his thoughts had been aimed at harming someone imprisoned within the horrid place. For he had feared from the very beginning of Sirius Black’s escape that she and her fellow torturers would find freedom. 

And that had been even before he learned how to create a patronus strong enough to keep him from losing his soul. He’d managed a non-corporeal one at fifteen, all thanks to Harry, but the form had not come along until he had been just shy of eighteen and his gran had given him a memory strong enough to do the trick. 

His shape back then had been a kind of leopard, though he still does not know if it is for him or for his gran, the most important person in his life at the time. Unlike his best friend, he had not thought becoming an animagus to be important enough at the time. He’d been working his hardest at anything that could help their survival rate and defeat Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Not that Percival will learn of this for quite some time, maybe even never. 

He expects to see that leopard again now, is even glad to have a reason to use his patronus, and brings it up the moment he enters the halls reeking of fear. But it does not take him long to notice that there is something different. Though the memory has not changed and still brings about a just powerful enough patronus to keep him thinking clearly, the shape is a little different. 

It looks almost familiar. Not in the way that it reminds him of his old one, but in that he’s seen the shape before. Though he should probably stop worrying about that now, he can feel the effect of the dementors start to get stronger. He’ll have to check later, right now he has answers to pursue. 

Unfortunately those answers do not appear to be found here, and after a disappointing hour that makes it a little more difficult to keep his patronus going, he leaves the prison, frowning in frustration. And forgets that thought he’d had about his patronus. 

He doesn’t think about it until months later when he’s chatting with Percival and discussing defense in general and Neville admits to knowing how to cast a patronus, explaining that he’s been capable of an corporeal one since he was almost eighteen, but doesn’t mention his ability to do a non-corporeal one at fifteen. 

Percival seems like he’s about to ask to see it, so Neville takes out his wand and remembers the words his gran had shared with him after the final battle against Voldemort and murmurs, “expecto patronum,” and watches as it takes shape, again in the one that is familiar but he hadn’t remembered where he’d seen it. 

But he remembers now. He knows now. 

How can he not when the one it comes from is sitting right there next to him, staring in surprise at the glowing shape of his animagus form.


	17. The Seventeenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neville might not be a dad, but sometimes he feels like one.

First. 

Little Albus Severus Potter is but a few hours old when Neville holds the sleeping baby, smiling gently at him and nodding as Harry softly murmurs something. He’s not paying as much attention as he should be, but who could blame him with such an adorable little child right there? 

This little boy who has yet to know any hardship, though Neville is certain he will eventually if not for his name then for being a Potter where the one Potter Neville has known has always managed very easily to get into trouble, and little James Sirius has not been an exception yet. He’ll protect him from it as well as he can, though, and as he lays him down to sleep, he gently kisses his head and whispers to him sleep well, before he finally leaves to go sit with Harry who still can’t manage to sleep. 

–

Second. 

It’s summer and they’re outside, soaking in sun. Neville has his hands in dirt as he replants some of the plants that needs it while keeping an eye and ear out for little Al, playing happily on his own – so he won’t get bothered by whatever Neville is working at the time – with the tiny kitten Ron had dumped on him a few days before out of worry that Neville was lonely or something along those lines. He’s not sure anymore, he just knows that apparently Hermione had said something that had set off his mothering. 

It’s a good thing, apparently, since Al seems to be enjoying the kitten if nothing else. Though he hopes he won’t leave it starved for attention when he can’t be baby-sitting for anyone. Maybe he’ll offer to take all three of the Potter kids some weekend, give Harry and Ginny more than just a day children-free. 

His thoughts are broken off there when he hears a cry of pain and his head whips around to look for Al who is– thankfully still there with the kitten, but unfortunately near tears. Hurrying over reveals a thin pink line on his hand and Neville restrains himself from sighing – both from exasperation and relief – and kneels down, “hey, it’s okay–” 

He picks up the teary child, hugging him gently and taking the hand that is unceremoniously shoved into his face and looking at it, the kitten rubbing against his leg as he does. 

“Hurts,” Al tells him, and Neville smiles softly back at the unvoiced demand that he make it better. “Let me fix that,” he just says, and brings the hand to his lips, softly kissing the ‘boo-boo’ away. 

–

Third. 

Little Al is eleven and has finally joined him at Hogwarts. In a way it makes it easier for Neville to protect the boy just as he’s made sure to do his best with his older brother – and all the other students in need of it, of course, though some children he takes extra care to keep in touch with – and though he doesn’t quite expect him to be sorted where it is, it matters not. 

This is a child he has watched grow up, he knows full well there is no evil within him, and all the same, even the Slytherins are children, they simply learn what is taught to them and just as all the other houses, just need to be taught how to be kind. 

No one knows that without learning it first, no matter what they believe, and little Al does know kindness, Neville has seen it. 

He makes sure to smile at the boy when he can, just so he knows that nothing has changed other than the colors he wears and the dorm he sleeps in, because despite the time that has passed, some unfortunate rumors about the house itself still lingers, though much less so than before. 

He does and doesn’t expect to find the boy crying alone, hidden away where he thinks none will find him. He’s saddened by the wide eyes when found but does not let it bother him, and simply gathers little Albus into a hug, holding him until he no longer has tears to shed. 

He doesn’t chide him for being out after curfew, doesn’t take points or give a detention. He just brings him to the portrait to their common room, kneels in front of him and makes him promise to come to him if he needs him, but to be careful about the time, before kissing his forehead as a follow-up to the quick hug he gives him, bidding him good night. 

–

Fourth. 

Albus keeps sneezing, looking miserable, and Neville hands over another tissue, waiting patiently before going back to reading out loud to him. 

He knows Al can read for himself and everything, knows perfectly well he’s ‘too old for story time’, but it’s pretty late, no one will be coming to the Hospital Wing for the rest of the day barring perhaps Albus’ parents, though they’ve been informed that they’ve got it all well in hand, and Albus has yet to tell him to stop. 

Neville has work to do, papers to grade, but he’d much prefer to spend time here with little Al – who keeps saying not to call him little anymore – right now, he’s missed being able to sit with the younger ones and read out loud to them. This’ll do until the holidays, and on the plus side, at least Albus is too miserable to not want to hang out with an old, boring Professor. The words of his older brother, that is. 

He stays until Albus falls asleep, closing the book with a bookmark to let Albus know where they got to and putting the book under the pillow in case it’d embarrass him for anyone to accidentally see it, before tucking him in and kissing his forehead good night. 

–

Fifth. 

“Good work, kid,” Neville praises him, gently ruffling his hair the first moment he gets to see him after everything. He’s proud of him, he’s gotten this far and Neville knows he’ll get a lot further, whatever he chooses to do with his life. He’s got the will necessary to do the very best in what he is willing to. 

He’ll be good for the world. 

Little Al – yes, he knows he’s not little anymore, but he’ll always be little Al with him – grins back at him, almost preening, and Neville can’t help but smile, “come on, kid, lets go get you to that graduation party I know you’re all secretly throwing right underneath our noses. Be sure to have fun, alright?” 

He kisses the side of his head half because it’s a habit he can’t seem to grow out of and half because he’s sure it’ll embarrass the kid, and that’s usually what adults in their lives do, isn’t it?


	18. The Eighteenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They think he's a squib. She thinks he's a witch. He knows he's dangerous.

Neville crouches down beside the trashcan, trembling a little as he covers his ears in an attempt to not have to hear the woman calling his name as if she’s concerned for him when all she’s concerned for is her own reputation. Neville can’t handle it anymore, can’t handle her and her cruelty. 

He can’t leave for ever, either, for who would take him? His grandmother had not wanted him when he had not shown sufficient proof of being a part of their family – he can’t quite remember what she had wanted, he just remembers her disappointed face and mutter of that it may be best Neville is sent away. 

She’d said it was for his sake, he remembers, but he’d known back then that it was more for hers, and nothing else of that life comes to mind. All his memories from then on are of his new mother, his old one and old dad too are long gone. He hasn’t a clue as to who they were or if they’d ever loved him. 

This woman doesn’t love him. She says she does in front of people, but she’s never loved him. She scares him with how she can lie to people so easily and then turn around and hurt him. 

It makes him want to hurt her back.


	19. The Nineteenth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione admits to him later that when she'd found him, he wasn't breathing. So she'd made him breathe. Or at least that is what Neville gets from what she says.

Everything happens so quickly that when Neville attempts to think about it later, he feels like his head is spinning and it seems impossible to make sense of it, so he simply doesn’t. He tries sometimes, but he knows he won’t get far and so these attempts are more halfhearted than anything else he usually tries to do that he knows he can’t. 

What he can make sense of, however, is waking up again, gasping for breath and it taking a few moments for him to see clearly. What he can make sense of his warmth upon his chest while the rest of him is freezing. 

What he can make sense of is Hermione’s hair from the top of his head as he looks down, and then her relieved face hovering over his as she looks up and her hand taking the place of where her head had been, where his heart is. 

“Heey,” he slurs out, it sounds pathetic, but she smiles and it’s all okay.


	20. The Twentieth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn't until he's eight that he's forced to show powerful enough magic to be written into the Book of Admittance.

_‘Don’t you dare touch them!’_

Trust can be given to very few without having it thrown back into your face, Neville knows, it’s been his life since a child, when he trusted his relatives to love him like his parents had, and then found himself scared for his own safety, learning that if he did not show his magic, he was worth less. Worthless, perhaps.

He’d known it since he grew up and found himself alone most of the time, only given thought when his gran was needed elsewhere and he wasn’t trusted alone at home, his great uncle having to watch him. 

Algie Longbottom had no problem thinking of Neville… And his magic. Neville would often find himself in a spot of trouble, bound or in danger while Algie watched him, an attempt to make him show magic that so far wasn’t working out very well. 

He’s eight when Algie holds him upside down out of a window several stories up. He’s eight when upon a shout of horror surprising him, Algie lets go and Neville falls. He’s eight when he closes his eyes and asks magic to let him live and he doesn’t crash into the hard, cold ground, but into soft, warm earth. 

He’s eight when he looks up with wide eyes at the woman running towards him, a worried look on her face and wand in hand, a tied up Algie floating behind her.


	21. The Twenty-first Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mother's protection is final.

_‘Don’t you dare touch them!’_

If there is anything a person should be allowed to expect, it is to be protected by their mother. It is to be proven without a doubt that their mother loves them, that she would do absolutely anything for her child. It’s called being a mother. 

Neville had that as a child. He had a mother that protected him above everything, that loved him the very highest she could. Had. 

His mother has been gone for him for so long that he’s been doubting that there’s anything left in her that makes her Alice Longbottom. He doesn’t remember knowing her as a mother, anymore, but he’s heard a story or two that doesn’t end in her losing her sanity for him but still involves her protecting him. 

He’s been wishing that he could still have that since he was old enough to know how, but he doesn’t expect her protection. Not even when a miracle occurs and they’ve gotten remarkably better, she and his father both. Her the most. 

He doesn’t expect it, so it’s a complete surprise when he’s standing in front of his gran and being lectured for not being proper enough while his mother is spending the day at home to see if she’s capable of that much, that she appears in front of him and interjects, protecting him from his gran’s stern upbringing. 

He doesn’t expect it. And it warms his heart when it happens.


	22. The Twenty-second Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because the war is over doesn't mean there'll be peace.

_‘Don’t you dare touch them!’_

In the past, Neville would never have dreamed that this would happen. Sure, he could see getting attacked, he could see getting hexed just for who he is, it had been happening back then too, it was practically normal for it to happen at the very least once a month. 

It’s just the part where he’s rescued that he hasn’t thought would ever happen. It’s that part where he’d before never thought anyone would notice him gone and come for him, the part where he now thinks he should’ve been paying more attention, enough so that he would have been able to defend himself better from the start, that surprises him. 

It’s the part where Draco Malfoy is the one to help him that surprises him. 

But he is grateful, because the situation had gotten a bit more difficult, he’d been up against too many and every time he’d knocked one out, one of the others had brought them back to the land of the awake.


	23. The Twenty-third Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neville's parents have been tortured into insanity. Harry's parents are dead. Sirius does not go to Azkaban but instead becomes a father of two.

_‘Don’t you dare touch them!’_

It hurts. It hurts so much until suddenly it doesn’t, anymore. It all goes numb for what feels like eternity, and then there’s a shock of warmth on his skin, touching him, and Neville flinches back automatically, eyes snapping open to meet the wide, frightened ones of Sirius, worry clear in his face. 

Why is he so scared? Neville doesn’t understand, he’s fine, it doesn’t even hurt, he can’t feel the warmth anymore. The thought that maybe it was Sirius’ touch that he felt comes to mind, since he doesn’t feel it anymore but he had felt it after becoming numb. 

Blinking, he tilts his head, staring silently at Sirius who seems very upset as he towers over him, having turned to glare darkly at the ones that had gotten to Neville, wand raised in a threatening manner and oh–

Neville can feel his heartbeat quicken. He doesn’t understand why until he wonders if he’s scared of him, of Sirius. 

But that’d be ridiculous, Sirius would never hurt him.


	24. The Twenty-fourth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neville's parents have been tortured into insanity. Harry's parents are dead. Sirius does not go to Azkaban but instead becomes a father of two.

“I think I may have ticked off one of the suits of armor… Careful! I think there might be a boggart in there.”

“Relax, dad, it’ll be fine– though what you were doing fooling around with it I’m not sure I want to know,” Neville rolls his eyes as he lifts his wand on the chance that there actually is a boggart in the armor before lifting the visor of the helmet. Nothing seems to happen for a moment and he’s just about to tell him he’d told him so when the armor tumbles to the ground and a shape forms where it had once stood. 

Neville backs away quick enough to stumble, wand pointed at the shape immediately, but not soon enough to stop his fear from appearing quite literally in front of him in the shape of his adopted dad looking at him as if he hasn’t a clue who Neville is. 

Just like his first set of parents does every time he visits them.


	25. The Twenty-fifth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neville isn’t here for History to repeat itself. He’s here to change it.

_Rubbing their back after a stressful day or disappointment._

“You don’t have to– oh, that’s nice,” Neville sighs, shoulders relaxing, and smiles gratefully back at Lily. He’s not going to be able to stop her when she’s determined, she’s as stubborn as he is, and Neville has gotten very stubborn over the years. Stubborn enough to try anything to save the people he loves. 

Including time travelling and making friends with the parents of his friends. Several of them have become his friends on his own merit, but Lily is his favorite. The nicest to him, the one that tries the most to understand. 

Not that the others don’t, they try, but a lot of them won’t trust him. He can’t tell them everything and they’re worried, scared for their future, wondering why someone would come back to save everyone. How wrong could everything have gone with the war. 

He hasn’t told them about the second war. He can’t. What’s the use of getting their hopes up about the war ending for them and there being peace for a while only for it all to happen all over again because the Minister was being a stubborn fool? And what with how the first ended, if they knew then they might try to do it the same way again and Neville isn’t here for History to repeat itself. 

He’s here to change it.


	26. The Twenty-sixth Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because sometimes certain things are worth the price you’re asked to pay.

Bad things happen to wizards who mess with time. Neville knows. He knows and he’s prepared for it. Because sometimes certain things are worth the price you’re asked to pay. Some things are worth those bad things. This moment here, this exact moment of time, if he can change it, if he can fix it. 

Then it is worth every bad thing that could ever happen to him. 

It’s not like he meant to specifically go back here to this moment and change this very thing, he didn’t. He didn’t even come here just now, he’s been here for days, he’s been preparing for every single thing he can manage to fix to make this world a better place. 

He’s been hunting down all those things Hermione had told him about, he’s been doing everything he can to make it all easier for these younger versions of his friends, their parents, the friend of their parents… 

Neville has been working hard to ensure that everything will go just right and he’d been ready for the bad things to happen when he’d stumbled upon this moment. 

When he’d finally met his parents, sane for the first time in his life that he can remember. And he so desperately needs, no he wants, to fix it, even knowing that it hadn’t been something that had been prioritized. Hell, he hadn’t prioritized it, it hadn’t even come up as a thought to him that maybe, just maybe, his parents could be there to watch him grow up and know who he is. 

He’d gotten so used to them being there just on the outside, not capable of looking in. 

So Neville takes a deep breath and then smiles at his mum despite the wand to his throat, sad and happy at the same time that even if he won’t get this, baby Neville will. 

“I’m him, mum. I’m your son and I’m here to warn you from doing this. You won’t be able to come back from it and he needs you. I know it sounds crazy, you probably don’t believe me, but I don’t need you to. I just need you to not go after them, not like this. Maybe if you’ve got proper back-up, but I can’t let you do it like this.”

They will doubt that he can stop them, they will also doubt that he’s telling the truth, but he doesn’t need them to believe. It’s easier if they don’t, easier to catch them off guard and keep them here, if he needs to. 

He should have just enough time to do that. He really hopes he does.


	27. The Twenty-seventh Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "N-Neville?" it is the last word Frank Longbottom says to his son before recognition fades once more.

Some might say that death holds the clarity that life never could. Some may argue that death is only darkness. And a few would smile and mention that death is just the next great adventure. 

Neville doesn’t know which of those he’d believe in if any, he hasn’t the faintest idea of what is right. All he knows is that for his parents, death might be just what they need. The one thing that can give them their freedom back, to stop them from being chained, their broken minds staying shattered. 

If death is just the next great adventure, is it not kinder to allow them to go on it rather than keep them here and force them to stay just for their sake? If nothing else it will free them from the darkness of their current life. 

Neville never thinks, not even once, that if they had the choice between passing on or being here with very little sanity and clarity intact, that they would choose to stay. He would always immediately assume that they would choose peace over pain. 

He never considers himself worth staying for, not even once. 

He wants to give them peace or adventure, freedom. But he knows his gran will never go for it. Gran is old, though, and when she dies, that’s when Neville finally makes the choice. 

He will kill his parents so that they may join everyone in the great beyond or move on to their next great adventure, he will free them from the shackles of insanity and him. They’re finally going to be able to let go even if it’s the last thing he does.

He pulls them out of St. Mungos, says nothing of the why, but brings them home and lays them in bed together, where they belong, holding each others hand. 

His father will go first, after he has poisoned him, he sits next to him, holding his free hand with both of his, and when the moment of clarity comes, Neville merely smiles softly, sadly, down at the man he wishes he could have known. 

When his father breathes his last, Neville needs to take a moment to just breathe, but then he’s moving to the other side for his mother. 

He can’t stop now. If he does, he’ll never manage to free her too.


End file.
